Today I had some work to finish up so I brought my food into my classroom so I could work and eat over my lunch. A few minutes into my break the lights when out. No, no one came in and shut them off, they are on a motion/timer. Thus if there’s no movement for about 60 seconds they shut off. Of course, I waved my arms and got them to switch back on and then as soon as I got refocused they shut off again.
Some of the time I tried to tough it out and let my eyes adjust and work in the dark but then someone came by and said, “what are you doing in the dark!”
The craziest thing was that after 30+ minutes of this, I found myself holding a big piece of paper in my opposite hand and occasionally waving it as I tried to work with my free hand so as not to be in the dark yet again. I even spent some of my time trying to think through how I could hang something in front of the sensor to simulate movement.
It wasn’t until after lunch and my class returning that it hit me… why!? Why did I waste an entire hour trying to make it work. In fact, every time the light would go out I would cuss under my breath and yet I stayed. I stayed in a situation that I KNEW would set me off. I wasted time trying to “fix” a problem that is actually NOT a problem but yet working exactly how it’s supposed to… just not for what I WANTED. I even found little ways to make it miserably through it… pridefully! Honestly, waving the paper still didn’t solve the issue, it simply added more to my plate and caused more distraction from my actual project.
- How many hours have I wasted trying to make tools/skills work that were never meant to be used in that way in the first place!?
- How many relationships have I fought for, grieved for, allowed to take countless time “making it work” because I believed we’re all supposed to get along!?
- How many situations do I sit in KNOWING they will only cause more work, stress and anger but I try to muscle through because of pride or because I don’t want to do the work to move on!?
- How many habits do I keep that only add more work and not helping me live out my passions, focus, PURPOSE!?
Still learning and growing…